Hey Stars! This week we have a great love question here from a lovely lady who shall not be named lol. Let’s jump right in.
This lovely lady writes:
Dealing with being romantically involved with a FULL time single parent, I know THEY have to make the time and space for YOU, but how do you make it work, coexist and build a foundation with someone who already has a family, A.k.a. a child with someone else? You know, without feeling like a *non-priority ?
Well my dear, I’m glad you asked. My partner has a daughter who is a huge part of his life. As a parent myself, I am biased in this situation. But I do understand your feelings. First, I think it’s important that you realize your place in this person’s life. Yes, they have a child and that child needs them more than you do. However, that does not suggest your place in their life isn’t important and therefore worth the effort to get to a place of mutual inclusion.
Ask yourself, ask your heart: do you feel this person is being neglectful? Or is it simply different for you and what you are used to dealing with? Either way, your feelings are valid. But this then prompts you to ask yourself if their efforts are truly enough for you. Are you desiring more than they are giving? If so, that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a bad person for wanting what you want, child involved or not.
It’s important for you to communicate your desires to your lover and have an honest conversation about what can be done. Don’t be afraid to speak up! You’re not the wicked step-mother. Don’t fear being seen in that light. If they can meet you half-way and navigate things differently to build a stronger relationship with you while still doing what they need to do as a parent, great! It IS possible. You don’t know until you voice your feelings. If they feel there’s nothing more they can do, I would advise sitting with that and asking yourself where you see this relationship going if it stays the same. And being very honest with yourself about it.
The key here is being honest with yourself and with this other person about how you feel about what’s going on currently. That way, you can work together to find common ground.
I hope this answered your question!
Peace & Love