Reciprocation: How To Recognize Its Presence & Absence In Your Relationship

Reciprocation is a term that I hear quite often as it relates to relationships. Both platonic and romantic. Today I want to focus in on the romantic implications of the word. When we talk about this, I think it’s important to discuss the many ways reciprocation can manifest within a relationship. For instance, let’s say you’re a texter. You always text your lover in order to communicate with them. But maybe they aren’t so gung-ho about texting you quite as much. Does this automatically mean they are not reciprocating your effort to communicate? Or does it mean you aren’t noticing, appreciating or accepting the way they are reciprocating the effort to communicate with you?

When discussing reciprocity, it’s important to take into account the kind of person you’re dealing with. Not the person you were dealing with a year ago. Who they are now. What space they are in. What are their primary behaviors right now? Shift your perspective from how you think it should be to how it actually is. If the way your partner is reciprocating efforts doesn’t resonate with you, it’s best to be honest about that. With yourself and with them. If this person is in fact reciprocating your efforts, and it’s not happening in a way that feels satisfactory to you, something needs to change. The methods of reciprocation need to change or the partner does.

However, if you shift your perspective & are able to really appreciate their methods of reciprocation even though they are different from yours, this is a huge opportunity to grow and expand within your relationship. To challenge yourself to see what is beyond the surface and truly understand what is waiting there for you in the realm of the unknown where your lover has decided to be right now. With you. It’s very interesting how things change between your partner and yourself when perspective shifts. Shifting your perspective doesn’t mean throwing away your needs, wants and standards. It simply allows you to see things in a different light and make the choice whether or not that particular place is somewhere that you’d like to be.

This is not an opportunity to fool yourself into thinking your partner is showing they care when they aren’t. If you have truly shifted your perspective to see how your partner could be doing this and still are not feeling the love and reciprocity, it is what it is. At the core, it’s all about the feelings. You know whether or not this applies to your situation or not. Be discerning.

Furthermore, when we take the time to examine the different ways our partners reciprocate our love and effort, we gain clarity. We are no longer focused on the illusion of our partner not caring for us or the limiting ways we have decided to view the expression of love. We are able to open our hearts to the exciting possibilities love has to offer us in ways that we could not imagine before. We allow ourselves to have an experience that deviates from the plan and just might take us on to something bigger and better. It gives us the opportunity to co-create this love instead of control it. And believe me, co-creation is so much better than control. It feels better. It has more meaning. And it’s fun!

Today, I implore you to think about the things your partner DOES instead of focusing on what they DON’T do. Making their areas of lack your point of focus only attracts more of their lack to you in the relationship. While it’s necessary to be aware, it’s also necessary to carefully choose what thoughts you are going to allow to stay, permeate and how they will play a part in manifesting into your reality.

So sit with this. Ask your higher power for your heart to be opened so that you are able to recognize all that your partner does for you and ask for the clarity to discern how this translates into reciprocation. Write down all that comes to you during this time. At the end, re-read everything you wrote. How do you feel reading this? Refreshed? Underwhelmed? Pensive? Loved? Focus on the way you feel. Be present in whatever emotion comes up and let that lead you to your next course of action.

With that, I leave you to bask in the love that surrounds you.
Peace & Love



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