Growing With Your Lover: Important Things To Keep In Mind

I’ve heard so many people express that they want a relationship where they and their partner grow together. And since I have a lot of experience on this topic, I decided to share what I know with you. If you are already in a relationship and are growing with your partner or want to foster more growth in your relationship, keep reading. If you aren’t in a relationship currently, but want to experience growing with your lover when you do get into one, keep reading.

I recorded a video talking about this topic that you can watch below.


But I wanted to write a blog post on this as well to get a little more in depth.

So first thing’s first, I want to say that growing together with your lover is one of the most beautiful and enriching experiences I have ever had and continue to have. However, if you’ve already experienced this to a certain degree, you may know that growth may not always be pretty or easy to deal with. But growth is like that. It can be ugly and messy and challenging. If you were only doing things you knew how to do the right way, you wouldn’t be growing. You would be repeating what you already know. You wouldn’t be moving to a new height or a new level. You would be staying at the same level, doing what you knew-and not growing.

When things got ugly and messy and challenging, I had a habit of beating myself up about it, despite my growing as a result. I hated the idea of learning lessons at my partner’s expense. I was always far more hard on myself than he ever was. In fact, he was never really hard on me at all. He has always been incredibly patient and gracious and forgiving. But I had not yet learned to afford myself that patience and grace and forgiveness. As much as I gone on and on and sung the praises of how amazing it is to be in this relationship where I’ve grown so much, I failed to understand that in order for me to experience this growth I loved so much, these shadow parts of me had to rear their ugly heads in order to show me what I needed to learn.

If you are in a relationship and have seen some of this ugliness, I want you to keep this in mind. Whether its your shadow that has reared its head or your partner. Or both. If indeed you both are committed to growth and used these inconvenient, ugly (but really beautiful in disguise) opportunities to grow, you must see them for what they are. It’s normal to feel any way you feel as a result of this happening. Being present in your feelings is essential to understanding why these things have shown up in your experience and how to utilize them for your highest good and the highest good of your relationship.So ignoring and burying them is not the answer. Don’t do that shit. But once the feelings have been fully felt, have served their purpose and relayed the message to you that you need to receive, move through it. Expending energy on what has already happened when the lesson has been learned is one of the most useless things you can do. Instead, be grateful for the opportunity to learn in the safety of your relationship, where you know you are loved unconditionally and afforded space to grow.

If your relationship is not a safe space to learn and grow, this is where you need to get with your partner and discuss the importance of growth within your relationship. Talk about how you both can facilitate each others growth in a way that works for you all. Be intentional & specifc about how you will do this. See how it goes & refer back to your discussion to see how it’s working and what needs to be tweaked. (To be quite honest, I am not a relationship counselor. It’s not what I do. I talk about love & relationships from my perspective in order to relay messages to those it is meant to resonate with and I work with people individually in order to assist them with with doing their personal emotional work so that they can do their part in the relationship. But I felt the need to type the little paragraph above, so there it is. Don’t expect much more of that. I’m not talking to you and your man, I’m talking to you 🙂

Now on to you, my single friend. I want to impress upon you that you do not have to shoulder the weight of what I have gone through as a result of growing with my lover. While things may come up that trigger you, make you uncomfortable or draw attention to the unhealed parts of you that aren’t so pretty, you can avoid at lesat some the distress I went through, falling into the black hole of useless guilt, which lowered my vibration & as a result, the vibration of my relationship since I am half of it.

While you are still manifesting this partner for yourself, you can set the intention to learn and grow with your partner with ease, clarity and love. You can specify that your relationship will be a safe space for you & your partner to learn and grow and that you, you all will share unconditional love and practice radical forgiveness. (Of course, add these intentions to other specific ones that detail what else you wish to experience within your relationship.)

In the mean time, do your very best to see how you can grow within other relationships you may have that are not romantic and express gratitude for the opportunity to practice with someone who is already near and dear to you. Or express gratitude for the opportunity to grow through a relationship a person you may not quite get along with. Give thanks for the fact that something good and valuable came out of it!

This is a pretty general post, just giving you tips and reminders on how to navigate growing with your lover and how to start the process of attracting a relationship where you grow with your lover. If there’s something more specific you’d like me to touch on relating to this subject, comment down below and I’ll review it. See what I can do 🙂 If you would like more personalized advice for your specific situation, click here to be directed to the Work With Me page where you can review my offerings and book me for an Angel Oracle Love reading, a Love + Relationship Clarity Session or an Emotional Clarity package so we can really get down to business and get you in the right space to experience a blissful, amazing love life.

Thanks for stopping by, ya’ll.

Peace & Love





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